Why is My Toddler Waking Multiple Times in the Night? (And What to Do About It)
You survived the newborn stage. You made it through the four month regression. You told yourself it would get easier as they got older.
And then your toddler started waking five times a night and nobody warned you this was even a thing.
Toddler sleep is one of the most under talked about topics in parenting. Everyone focuses on babies but the truth is toddlers can be just as challenging when it comes to sleep, and the reasons behind it are often very different to what you experienced in the baby days.
So let us talk about what is actually going on.
Why do toddlers wake in the night?
Sleep associations Just like babies, toddlers who rely on a parent being present to fall asleep at bedtime will need that same thing every time they surface between sleep cycles in the night. If your toddler needs you to lie with them, stroke their hair or sit in the room until they are asleep, they will call for you every time they wake overnight.
Overtiredness Toddlers are notoriously resistant to sleep even when they desperately need it. If your toddler is going to bed too late, dropping naps too early or not getting enough total sleep for their age, overtiredness will drive more frequent night waking. It feels completely backwards but getting an overtired toddler to bed earlier often results in better nights almost immediately.
Nap transition The transition from two naps to one, and eventually from one nap to none, can really disrupt night sleep. If your toddler is in the middle of a nap transition their sleep can feel all over the place for a few weeks while their body adjusts.
Big feelings and separation anxiety Toddlers experience enormous emotional development and this can really show up at night. Separation anxiety, big feelings, fears and worries can all cause more frequent waking and make it harder for your toddler to settle back to sleep without reassurance.
Developmental leaps Language explosion, potty training, starting nursery, a new sibling these are all huge developmental events that can temporarily disrupt toddler sleep. Their brains are processing so much and night time is often when all of that comes to the surface.
Hunger If your toddler is a picky eater or going through a phase of eating very little, hunger can genuinely be driving some of those night wakings. Making sure they have a good supper before bed can sometimes make a surprising difference.
Illness and discomfort Ear infections, teething, growing pains and general illness can all cause disrupted toddler sleep. If your toddler has suddenly started waking more than usual it is always worth ruling out anything physical first.
What can you do about it?
Look at bedtime timing. Most toddlers need somewhere between 11 and 14 hours of total sleep in 24 hours depending on their age. If bedtime is too late or they are napping too long in the day, night sleep will suffer.
Look at how they fall asleep. If your toddler cannot fall asleep without you there, that is almost certainly connected to the night waking. Gently working on independent sleep at bedtime will have a knock on effect throughout the night.
Look at the sleep environment. A good blackout blind, a comfortable temperature and consistent white noise can all make a real difference to how well your toddler sleeps through.
Address the big feelings. Make sure your toddler feels secure and connected during the day. Lots of one to one time, clear and loving boundaries and a predictable routine can all help reduce anxiety driven night waking.
Be consistent. Whatever approach you take to toddler night waking, consistency is everything. Chopping and changing how you respond makes it much harder for your toddler to learn what to expect.
When toddler night waking becomes too much
If you have tried everything and your toddler is still waking multiple times every night, please know that you do not have to just push through it. Toddler sleep issues are absolutely something a sleep consultant can help with and the results can be just as transformational as with younger babies.
How I can help
I am Lottie, a Norland nanny with 10 years experience and 17 years working with babies and children altogether, and OCN qualified through the Sleep Consultant Academy. I work with toddler families across Gloucestershire, the Cotswolds and the whole of the UK, and toddler sleep is something I am deeply passionate about.
My Night Night by Zoom package includes a fully bespoke toddler sleep plan, daily WhatsApp support throughout our time together and follow up calls over two to three weeks. And if you just need a quick hour to talk things through, my Sleep MOT at £98 is the perfect place to start.
Every toddler I have worked with has got there in the end. Every single one. And yours will too. If you are ready to take the first step, I am right here.
Book your free discovery call here.
