My Baby Won't Sleep Through the Night: Here is What Actually Is Going On
Everyone told you it would get easier.
Maybe it did for a while. Maybe you had a few glorious nights where you dared to think you had cracked it. And then it all fell apart again and here you are, back to square one, wondering if your baby will ever actually sleep through the night.
First of all, let me tell you something important. A baby who does not sleep through the night is not a broken baby. And you are not a failing parent. Night waking is completely normal at many stages of babyhood and toddlerhood. But normal does not have to mean forever, and there is almost always something specific going on that is worth looking at.
What does sleeping through the night actually mean?
Before anything else it is worth knowing that sleeping through the night does not mean what most people think it means. For a baby, sleeping through is generally defined as a five to six hour stretch, not the eight or nine hours adults need. So if your baby is waking after five or six hours, they are technically sleeping through, they just might not be doing it at the hours you would like!
That said, frequent night waking that leaves the whole family exhausted is absolutely something worth addressing. So let us look at what might be causing it.
Why do babies wake in the night?
Sleep associations This is the most common reason for frequent night waking in babies. If your baby relies on feeding, rocking, or being held to fall asleep at bedtime, they will need that same thing every time they surface between sleep cycles in the night. And since all babies cycle through lighter sleep stages roughly every 45 minutes, that can mean a lot of wake ups. The key is helping your baby learn to fall asleep independently at bedtime so they can also resettle themselves in the night without needing you every time.
Overtiredness An overtired baby sleeps lighter and wakes more frequently. If your baby is not getting enough daytime sleep or their wake windows are too long, overtiredness could be driving those night wakings. Getting the daytime sleep right often has a surprisingly big impact on night sleep.
Hunger If your baby is genuinely hungry in the night, they will wake to feed. This is completely appropriate in the early months but as babies grow and their capacity for daytime calories increases, night feeds often become more habitual than necessary. If your baby is feeding multiple times in the night but taking very little at each feed, habit rather than hunger is likely the driver.
Developmental leaps When babies are going through big developmental changes, learning to crawl, walk, talk or process new skills, their sleep can really suffer. These periods are usually temporary but they can feel relentless when you are in the middle of them.
Sleep environment Temperature, light, noise and comfort all play a role in how well your baby sleeps through the night. A room that is too warm, too light or too noisy can cause more frequent waking. Getting the sleep environment right is one of the simplest and most effective things you can do.
Illness or discomfort Teething, reflux, ear infections and other sources of discomfort can all disrupt night sleep. If your baby has suddenly started waking more than usual it is always worth ruling out any physical cause first.
What can you do about it?
Start by looking at sleep associations. How does your baby fall asleep at bedtime? If the answer involves you doing something for them, that is almost certainly connected to the night waking.
Look at daytime sleep. Is your baby getting enough? Are wake windows appropriate for their age? Getting this right can have a big knock on effect on nights.
Look at the sleep environment. Is the room dark enough? Is the temperature right? Is white noise being used consistently?
Consider hunger. Is your baby feeding frequently in the night but taking very little? If so it might be time to gently work on consolidating or dropping some of those feeds.
And if you have looked at all of these things and the nights are still broken, it is time to get some proper support.
How I can help
Ten years as a Norland nanny and 17 years working with babies and children means I have helped countless families crack frequent night waking. Add my OCN qualification from the Sleep Consultant Academy and I know exactly where to look and what to change to get your nights back.
Whether you need a quick hour to talk things through with my Sleep MOT at £98, or a full bespoke sleep coaching programme with Night Night by Zoom at £349, I have a level of support to suit every family and every situation.
Broken nights do not have to be your normal. There is a reason your baby is waking and there is a solution. You just need the right person to help you find it. That is what I am here for, and I would love to help your family finally get the sleep you all deserve.
Book your free discovery call here.
